


What Have I Done?

by orphan_account



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, I don't regret this, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of Crying, Regret, oh god what have I done, too much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6639505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn't believe what he did. What he said. He couldn't even remember why he did it. All he wants is for the torment to end, but even he knows that he doesn't deserve that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed a lack of Eddsworld fanfics, so I'm here to contribute to this wonderful fandom. So hold onto your pants and get ready for the feels.

Tord couldn't understand why he did it. Actually he didn't want to. All the lies he spat at his (ex) friends, saying how they were never friends. He wanted to stay friends, but he blinded himself. He tricked himself into thinking that he wanted world domination. In all honestly he didn't. 

Now Tord was in his office drinking himself to death. Or at least trying to. He was on his second bottle of vodka and was a blubbering mess. Tears running down his face as the event playing over and over in his head. He couldn't take this form of torture, but he deserved it. Tord wronged so many people and even killed an bystander. But he knows he deserves worse. He even tried to make himself feel the pain he made others feel that day. And in result his arms and hips were covered in bandages. 

He should've died in that explosion. But he didn't. Now half his face was melted and his arm was now a stump. 

'They said the plan wouldn't work.'

Tord took a swig of vodka. 

'I even doubted the plan wouldn't work.'

Another swig. 

'I have fucked up so many lives.'

Another swig. 

'I should die.'

Another swig. 

'I need to die'

He took a big gulp of the liquor. 

'I am gonn-'

He was pulled from that thought by a soft knock on the door. "Sir may we come in?" Patryk asked. He stood frozen in place with his mouth agape but no words coming out. 

"Come in." He finally managed to say. The door opened to reveal Paul and Patryk standing there with worried looks on their face. "We just wanted to make sure you were okay, sir" Paul said finally breaking the silence. They stood there for a few more minutes in a very uncomfortable silence. 

"No." 

"No what, sir?" Paul asked. 

"I'm not okay," Tord croaked out,"I have fucked up so bad and I can't believe I've done that. I can't believe I actually went through with it. I've killed many people before but never a bystander. I've screwed people so many times but not those who didn't deserved it. I've screwed up. I'm a monster," Tord dropped to his knees,"I should've died in that explosion but I was punished by survive the explosion," He started pulling at his hair,"I should die. I should die. I should die I should die I should die I should di-" he was cut off mid sentence a pair of arms pulling him into an embrace. 

"It'll be alright, we'll be here for you."  
Patryk (the one who was hugging him) said, holding Tord closer. Tord started crying into Patryk's shoulder after that. "I don't need friends, "I-I don't deserve friends" Tord replied, only to cause Patryk to hold him tighter. 

A few minutes later Tord returned the hug and cried quite loudly into Patryk's shoulder. Finally he let go of Patryk and broke this embrace. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve of his hoodie and sat there. 

"You guys should go and get some rest." Tord didn't want them to leave but they had to. 

"Sir-" 

"Go and get rest." he repeated.

Both men got up and headed towards the door. "Thank you." Tord said. The soldiers turned and gave Tord a sympathetic smile. "Goodnight, sir" Paul said, closing the door behind him. 

Tord knew that he had one more thing to do. He hurriedly got up and went to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and looked at the object that layed in there. 

A hand gun. 

He grabbed the handle and observed the piece of weaponry. If he shot at the right angle it could be quick and painless. He wouldn't have to deal with this reality anymore. He could be free of this torment. Hell would be better than this. He should know, I mean he did visit before.

He raised the gun towards his head. This was his destiny.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the Red Army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this isn't a one shot anymore....I gues this is a two shot? Is that even a thing? Probably not. Oh well. Enjoy my humanoids.

What Have I done

Patryk's POV 

He and Paul checked on Tord a few minutes prior. And he would be lying if he said that Tord was fine. Mentally, emotionally, and physically he looked tired. He thought Red Leader didn't deserve this and yet at the same time he did. 

He didn't mean for the plan to go so...Unexpected. He only wanted the robot, not to kill an innocent man and ruin his friends' life. All he wanted was a robot. A robot that Patryk said he should leave there. Paul could've even helped him build the new robot. Or at least Patryk thinks he would. 

"Paul?" Patryk questioned as he turned to face his fellow soldier. Paul let out a hum at the sound of his name. " Would you have built a robot with Red Leader to replaced the one he went to retrieve?" 

Paul raised an eyebrow (god those glorious eyebrows that he possessed) before he let out an answer. 

"Yes, if it meant that all this could be avoided. I would even build it somewhere convenient and it would be a cold day in Hell before it exploded by a harpoon, if I'm being honest." Paul said before standing to probably to get a smoke. 

"Maybe I should have tried harder to stop him from getting that robot." Patryk dared a glance at Paul before immediately regretting it. He was meet with a disapproving and almost judgmental stare. 

"Patryk this isn't your fault. Anything that happen or will happen because of it will not be you fault." 

"But Paul I-"

"No, this is Red Leader's fault. He was the one who went through it because of his stubborn ass. Not one bit of this is your fault." 

Patryk looked at the floor and frowned. 'Of course it's my fault. I didn't try hard enough' he kept repeating in his head. His cheeks started feeling wet and he wiped his eyes. Yep, he was definitely crying. Patryk was his right hand man, he was supposed to prevent stuff like this happening to the leader. And yet here he was crying and swimming in a pool of his own misery. 

When Paul saw this his face immediately softened. He took two small steps before wrapping his arms around Patryk. 

They sat there for a good 5 minutes before Patryk's tears finally dried up. 

Why was he crying about this? It's not like Patryk and the leader had a strong relationship. Yet he stilled felt responsible. He must be really messed up to be crying about this. 

Then there was a bang. Patryk jumped up and swung his head towards the door. He bounced to his feet and grabbed his revolver from the table besides him. "Stay here, Paul, I'll go check it out." Paul nodded his head before Patryk rushed out the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

\-------------Paul's POV------------

First he heard a bang and then a few minutes after Patryk left, he heard a scream. Paul bounced out of his chair pocketing a knife and dashed out of the room. He knew he had a bad feeling about this. And he still let Patryk leave. Idiot. 

'Ok, ok, just calm down Paul.' He thought. 'Everything is alright' he chanted like a mantra inside his head. 

He rounded the corner, nearing the Red Leader's room where he heard the scream. He stopped near the door. Expecting the worse he twisted the door knob and pushed it open slightly. He peeked through the door and saw two figured. One laying on the ground, the other holding the first figure to his chest. 

He swung the door open and saw Patryk holding Tord close to him. 

And what was more disturbing was the gun shot wound in Tord's and the puddle of blood they were sitting in. Patryk was crying uncontrollably and Tord looked...looked peaceful. He looked actually peaceful. More so than he has in a while. 

Paul scuffled towards Patryk and knelt. "Patryk, buddy? I, uh, what do I- oof!" And before he knew it Patryk was hugging him tightly, clutching onto him for his dear life. 

Paul hugged him back with one arm and the other picking his walkie talkie. He called for the medic staff, asking for a gurney. 

They got there 48 seconds exactly. 2 minutes to put Tord on the gurney. 1 minute and 5 seconds to get him to the ER in the base. 3 minutes to check his pulse and 1 minute, 23 seconds to declare him dead. 

That day the Red Leader died at 1:47 am on a Sunday. 

That day his army was no more. 

And the next day the zombie attacks grew more violent, the Resistance lived, and people who devoted their lives to the Red Leader now have no clue what to do with themselves. 

In a week there would be a funeral and the end of what Tord worked so hard for. 

\------------Tord's POV-------------

First he felt a burning pain, then nothing. There was a bright, blinding light and everything was white. Just plain white. He seemed to be floating upwards. 

Then the light dimmed. The whiteness darkened. And he felt like he was falling. 

His surroundings became redder and the heat became intense. What was scarier was that he knew where he was going. For all the sins he commuted. For the countless murders. For all the people he wronged. 

He deserved to go where he was heading. Tord deserve all the laborious work he'll get. It sure would be better than feeling like shit all day. Having the feeling of guilt and regret twist his stomach in knots was something he didn't want again. 

His conscious was clear. He felt ignorance and bliss although where he was going wouldn't be so great. But he deserved this. He deserved everything that will happen. 

The falling finally stopped. There was light but that was from all the fire littering the ground. There was no white, only red and black. There was no angels, only demons. 

He deserved this eternity of agony and pain. Even if others didn't think so, all that matter was that he KNEW he deserved this. 

There was no going back. He has now enter Hell. This was going to be better...Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So spoiler alert. Tord died. >:) Now you all know the ending. Oh. Wait. This is the end notes. 
> 
> I know I'm hilarious. *insert eye roll*
> 
> Anyway I hoped you enjoy and comment if you liked. I'd appreciate it. I can also take suggestions for whatever you have in mind. I honestly don't mind if you do. Whelp. Bye for now my humanoids ^u^

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you humanoids enjoyed reading. Comment suggestions and what not. Constructive criticism welcomed. 
> 
> ~WannabeEmo
> 
> P.S. There is exactly 666 words. Coincidence I think not.


End file.
